do: rmspam
don’t: arm PMs

do: everything on 101 Things To Do Before You Graduate
don’t: miss any. otherwise, you will have failed MIT and be a failure

do: lock the bathroom stall
don’t: make me guess if the stall is occupied by whether youtube sounds are emanating from it

do: pset with other people, it’s a great way to study while bonding with your peers
don’t: ask me to pset together, cause i have a girlfriend, and like, i shouldn’t be psetting with you

your notebook, laptop, backpack, jacket, violin, and underwear being in a study room does not give you indefinite squatting rights over the room, this isn’t even a do/don’t, i’m legit tspmo

do: get a 5.0 GPA, lead a club, volunteer, urop, eat healthy, get 8 hours of sleep a day, get a summer internship, have a work/life balance
don’t: do all of the above at once you prick. that’s it i’m deleting instagram

do: show up to class with a video game in case lecture is really boring
don’t: skip lecture entirely. you want to have the opportunity to pay attention in case it’s interesting, or at least to have your minecraft gameplay be immortalized by OCW

do: attend mit
don’t: accidentally attend harvard instead. i see this all the time at the beginner-level, it’s an easy mistake to make

do: when the sun rises high, rise higher
don’t: when the moon sinks low, sink lower

do: write “bcc’ed to dorms, [color] for bc-talk” in your dormspams
don’t: write it in the middle of the email, that’s kinda weird

do: make a new friend every day
don’t: forget about your freshman fall friend group

do: miss some flights
don’t: spend as much time at airports

don’t: cheat on your exams with your boyfriend
don’t: cheat on your boyfriend with another guy
do: cheat on the other guy with your exams

do: your laundry. you smell… bad

do: make friends with people whose parents work at companies you want internships at
don’t: be a friend to anyone else. why, you ask? elementary: think of the opportunity cost

do: as the romans say
don’t: as the romans do

do: post interesting and good things on dormspam
don’t: post uninteresting and bad things on dormspam

don’t: pine for me after we matched on that mit student dating site (you know the one) and then i, uh, forgot or smth
do: better than me

do: academics are important! remember to thoroughly review for all your exams
don’t: except in 5.111 and 8.02, i’m kinda nervous, and i think we could all benefit from a friendlier exam curve

do: enjoy music
don’t: enjoy music through your AirPods while on the lobby 7 crosswalk looking down at your phone in front of an ambulance in the reverse traffic lane you know who you are jesus christ you almost died

dude, be wary of these Bad Ideas weekend 2026 sponsorship thx sm 4 ur support
wary “wise” dude

Sent from the Lobby 7 crosswalk
Sentenced to life in prison
Sent while carrying a pigeon
Sent via the rescue team that was sent to rescue the rescue team that was sent to rescue me from the basement of E182